Yep...

 Yep. This is still here. 

 I'm still writing, just not here. Will that change? I wish I knew. 

Until another time...

 

Tuesday night

 So I have been in my writing class for several weeks now. It has been pretty successful as far as sparking some creativity in me, I believe. The group itself is pretty cool and all the writers are quite good. Several of them know each other already, so there is the occasional clique feeling, but I'm doing my best not to feel any residual high school inferiority. The prompts have been strong, and almost therapeutic for me. 

Some of the people in the class have also talked about doing different activities in the writing community. One which seems interesting to me is an Open Mic poetry night at some place downtown. I don't remember the name of the place right now, but I asked one of my classmates about it and was assured it isn't just a smoky bar with beatniks with berets tapping bongos. I've always wanted to do an Open Mic poetry night, so now is just gathering enough courage. And deciding on (or creating) some work I want to share. It's been a long time since I've written poetry seriously, but it might be time to jump back in to it.

The most exciting thing is that I have liked some of the short pieces I've written for this class thus far. In fact, the last two pieces I wrote I have really liked. I hardly ever really like my own writing, but I am quite proud of these two DRASTICALLY different pieces. In fact, one of them I am seriously considering expanding into a full novel. Maybe even work on it during NaNoWriMo. Or putting it aside and doing something else for NaNoWriMo. I've never done anything with this November challenge, but I think it could be fun/challenging.

Over the next couple days I will do a quick scrub edit of those last two pieces and will post them here. If anyone reads them, comment or touch base or something. I'd love to get any feedback.

Back to school

 Yeah.... The first post on this new blog was June 2020. Over three years later and there are 8 very short and mostly useless posts. The five projects I was was trying to push myself on have gone almost nowhere. Why? Life. Imposter syndrome. Depression. Family. On and on. It is always the same list with slightly different details. 

I don't want to compare to anyone else, but just recently a friend I went to college with just published her second critically acclaimed novel. This is in addition to the multiple books of poetry and other work she's done. I am not jealous, as she is definitely the best writer I have ever read, but it just gets me thinking about time. 

I'm 50 now. What do I have to show? What legacy am I leaving? When I'm gone, will there be anything to remember me? Is there anything worth remembering? 

I signed up for another writing class that starts in a few weeks. I promise I will put full effort into it and hopefully it can spark something, somehow. 

Maybe it will lead to more blog posts, who knows? I know no one reads this but me anyway.

Goodnight

 

50

 So... This is 50.

Happy Birthday, Heather

 Happy Birthday, Heather. I know you and I are not talking and it appears you have closed me out of your life, but I still want to send this birthday wish into the ether. Hopefully the sentiment will reach you and find you healthy and happy. That is all I've ever wanted for you. Happy Birthday!

 Hey. Trying this again. Turning 49 in a few days. My hip hurts. New kitchen floor has been installed. My library needs a complete overhaul. It's fucking hot outside. And one of these days I am going to sit down and actually write. I must. I want it.

 Ugh. Why can't I write? Why can't I sit down and write? This is torturous.